Common Sense, Common Decency, and the Quiet Power of Good Manners

There are two kinds of poverty in this world: the kind that empties wallets, and the kind that erodes character. And the latter is showing up more and more—not in dramatic crimes or public scandals—but in quiet refusals to respond, in three-day silences, in vanishing acts over something as small as a “yes” or a “no.”

Let’s talk about common sense and common decency. And let’s stop pretending they’re luxuries.

The Disappearing Act

It’s become strangely acceptable not to answer people. Not just acquaintances, but friends, coworkers, church members, and neighbors. Someone reaches out about a meeting, a product, a kind gesture—and they’re met with silence. For days. Sometimes forever.

People say, “I don’t owe anyone anything.” But here’s the truth: While no one’s sending you a bill, you’re still accountable. Not for everything—but for something.

You carry a basic responsibility to be clear.
A moral courtesy to be honest.
A social contract, signed not with ink but with decency.

You don’t owe them your energy, your time, or your agreement—but you do carry a call to be human. To be fair. To close the loop.

Because when you ignore people, you’re not just saving your own energy. You’re costing theirs.

You’re draining their hope, their patience, their belief in civility.

You’re subtly training others not to trust, not to expect, not to reach out again.

It’s Not About the Item—It’s About Integrity

Let’s say someone has been PMing you about an item for sale. Three days, no reply. What they’re offering is small—but your response (or lack of one) is part of something much bigger.

When you ghost someone, it says:
“Your effort doesn’t matter. Your time is disposable. Your assumption that I’d behave with decency was a mistake.”

That’s not just discourteous. It’s corrosive.

Because when we normalize this behavior, we’re not just being rude—we’re chipping away at something essential: the mutual respect that holds community together.

You may not owe them anything in a legal sense—but you carry a responsibility.
A shared social and spiritual weight that says: “I recognize your humanity, your time, and your intention.”

We are stewards of one another’s experience. Not owners. Not debtors. But caretakers of kindness, each time we interact.

When someone reaches out, you’re not obligated to say yes—but you are called to say something.

Because clarity is kindness. And silence, in this case, is just apathy dressed in passive-aggression.

The Spiritual Layer: The Golden Rule Isn’t a Suggestion

Let’s go deeper.

Christ didn’t say, “Be nice if it’s convenient.”
He didn’t teach, “Love your neighbor unless you’re tired or they annoy you.”

He said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

That’s not just about big moral decisions. It’s about the small daily choices—answering the phone, returning a message, being honest when you’re no longer interested. These are the small hinges that swing big doors in the Kingdom of God.

We often look for dramatic ways to serve God—mission trips, donations, grand gestures. But sometimes the holiest thing you can do is respond to someone with honesty and kindness. To treat a stranger on Facebook Marketplace the same way you'd want to be treated if the roles were reversed.

That’s discipleship. That’s good manners rooted in sacred soil.

Good Manners Are the Language of Respect

• Common sense says: “Let me be clear.”

• Common decency says: “Let me be kind.”

• Spiritual maturity says: “Let me reflect Christ, even in this small interaction.”

And all three are missing when people can’t be bothered to say “no thanks.”

The Real Cost of Ghosting

When you leave someone wondering—whether it’s about a date, a deal, or a donation—you are asking them to carry emotional weight you could’ve easily lifted.

You may think you’re avoiding conflict, but what you’re really doing is sowing doubt. And doubt lingers. It spreads like smoke into future interactions. People begin to hesitate before reaching out. They assume silence instead of sincerity.

And when that becomes the norm, we all suffer.

What to Do Instead

These aren’t big things. But they matter. Deeply.

• If you’re no longer interested, say it simply:
  “Thanks for reaching out, but I’ve decided to pass.”

• If you can’t make it to a meeting or event, let them know:
  “I won’t be able to attend after all, but I appreciate the invite.”

• If someone offers something and you decline, express gratitude anyway:
  “Thank you for thinking of me.”

These are not grand gestures. These are moral micro-movements. They cost nothing and restore everything.

Final Word

The world doesn’t just need louder opinions or faster tech.
It needs steadier people. People who show up. People who reply.
People whose “yes” means yes and whose “no” doesn’t need a ghost costume.

Common sense and common decency aren’t about etiquette—they’re about ethics.
Good manners don’t make you weak. They make you trustworthy.

So be the one who answers.
Be the one who closes the loop.
Be the one who treats others not just as they are, but as you would hope to be treated—especially on the days when you feel unseen, unchosen, or unimportant.

Because someone’s always watching.
And not in a creepy way—in a hopeful one.
Hoping that someone still remembers how to be decent, how to be clear, how to be kind.

You could be that someone.